This entire article is eye-opening, even as someone who has ADHD and has read a lot about it already. There’s so much more there than just the bit about the glucose-craving brain. SO. MUCH.
This might have been the bit that hit me hardest, actually:
it would be easy to misinterpret the following scenario as a standoff between two partners: Imagine that your partner asks you to pay the electric bill, and you say to yourself, “OK, I have time to do that today.” But when you sit down to do it, you keep getting distracted. The ADHD brain needs higher stimulation in order to complete this rote task with minimal payoff. Your ADHD brain says, “That task is way too boring, and I refuse to focus on it. Find something that interests me more, which offers me a bigger dopamine reward, and I’ll work with you.” It doesn’t matter that you know you should pay the bill as promised; if your brain won’t engage, it’s an ugly standoff. Perhaps, after a day of procrastination — when your partner will be home in 20 minutes and the bill is still unpaid — there may be enough of an adrenaline rush from a sense of crisis that your brain will engage and you pay the bill.
The ADHD brain and its owner are at odds with one another. It’s difficult to compel a disengaged brain to engage by force of will. In fact, much of the treatment for ADHD involves learning to psych out the brain, so that it will attend to necessary, low-stimulation tasks.
Appreciating the tug-of-war within that pits intellect against neurobiology increases compassion and acceptance for one’s hidden struggle.
I feel SEEN. OTZ
Seriously, though. Read the whole thing. It’s a good one.
Add to this that it’s not just that your brain says “I don’t want to”- the prefrontal cortex literally shuts OFF.
Ppl without ADHD be like “oh if I get rid of all possible distractions then you’ll be forced to focus on the boring task!” Fool… You underestimate my Power
My partner: dear it’s time to get up
Me: but distractions
Partner: I have removed them
Me: sleeps
Person: we have removed all possible distractions
Me: but have you considered this?
Me: *zones out and daydreams*
Person: I have removed all distractions so you can do [insert task]
Me: *chuckles* Silly neurotypical. So naïve… Don’t you see? I AM the distraction.
The distraction is coming from inside the house
That’s cuz this is the exact opposite of what you wanna do with ADHD. If you take away all input your brain is going to shut down. It has nothing to do. You need to find the right passive secondary input that will allow your brain to function enough to start what you need to start. What counts is different for everyone. Snacking, White noise, music, stim toys, podcasts, wiggling. A thing that will give you stimulation but isn’t enough to totally satisfy it so your brain wants to do more. Then you push yourself to do the task because your brain finally has all the pieces it needs to function.
Don’t force yourself into focusing the same way a neurotypical does. It will only hurt you. Find new ways that work for your neurotype.
I struggle a lot with this. :/
Thank you!!! Holmesmutual, this is such good advice!
Having adhd and getting those questions on homework or tests that say “explain your thought process” like oh boy are you sure you wanna go down that road buddy
idk if it’s just how my very silly brain operates but does anybody else get like. a weird second wave of procrastination right before you finish something. like you already did 70-90% of the work, it realistically won’t take you that long to be done, but for some reason. u just can’t. like. time’s up on executive function. like. oh sorry did you want to not be worried about this? bc im going to make u have to be worried about this. thanks!
you literally aren’t equipped to care about every possible opinion on this planet. your mother telling you you’re beautiful isn’t a lie, your friend telling you your art is cool isn’t biased. the fact you have people around you to tell you you’re doing great means you’ve been socialized properly. the douche on instagram or tumblr ain’t cooking your dinner, bringing you your pjs to the hospital or giving you a lift home. you aren’t psychologically equipped to give a shit about as many opinions as social media expose you to. we have never been more exposed to other ppl’s opinions and that’s what’s making us depressed. you care, and that’s natural, we have been programmed to care what other people think. but no one is lying when they say they think you’re great, they do think that. remember that, repeat that and embrace that.
a good rule of thumb of whether someone’s opinion matters at all is the answer to the question “would anything objectively change for better in my life if they thought something else of me?”. you’ll find that the answer to that is usually a “no”. someone who called you fat on facebook isn’t going to start paying your rent because you lost weight. they aren’t even going to listen to your sob story about your recent breakup. they are a nobody. repeat that, internalize that.
its really weird to see all these articles about how people who have ADHD have sleeping problems but the issue I have is that if you look at it as a matter of your circadian rythym being out of sync? of COURSE you’re not going to be able to sleep. we don’t say people who can’t fall asleep at 4 pm and sleep 8 hours have insomnia, because that’s not a normally agreed upon time to sleep and its not your bodies time to sleep. if you tell someone to go to bed at 10 and they can’t sleep till 3 am sometimes in just not insomnia. people with ADHD are often wired to sleep from 4 am to 12 pm ish because of the delayed onset of melatonin but if you let us go to bed at the time we need? most of us actually sleep pretty well and consistently.
wAIT THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT EXISTS
“For most adults the onset of melatonin is around 9.30 pm; in ADHD children compared to controls this occurs at least 45 minutes later, and in adults with ADHD even 90 minutes (van der Heijden ea, 2005; van Veen ea 2010). After melatonin onset, it normally takes 2 hours to fall asleep, but in adults with ADHD it takes at least 3 hours (Bijlenga et al, 2013).”
Look at me awake at 1:47 am and reblogging this post.
So I’m actually trained in therapy for addressing insomnia and one of the things we learned is that a good chunk of sleep problems are societal disorders - as in they WOULDN’T EXIST as problems if society didn’t assume everyone was on the same circadian rhythm and that being up and working 9-5 was mandatory/normal. Blew my mind and made so much sense. You are not the problem, society is literally the problem.
its true that crying wont solve things but we dont cry to solve. we cry to release
Taking the lid off a pot that’s boiling too much wont solve the problem of the heat being too high, but it will release the pressure so you’ll have time to get the heat under control before everything inside the pot explodes
